Sing The Song

Exactly I can't even remember when I start liking this song. Maybe the rythem is special, so I've attracted to it. I don't thing it's about me, because I'm freely choice the things I want. But surely, it's a kind of pity to the one this song was made for. [The lyric and the mp3 itself download it from the website]

Numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you

I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you

can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you

[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
and every second I waste is more than I can take

and I know
i may end up failing too
but I know
you were just like me
with someone disappointed in you

[And there's still something I don't know, because my English is poor] :D

The True Reason

The true reason of my unwilling to enjoy this great day with others is still secret. But actually, if I have to tell you one of those reason, it should be - I happy to celebrate it this way. For me, Raya is something no more than any other days, I can eat anytime I want, so, what the different? If you said that Raya is the time for meeting others, yes, it is true, but meeting others is not something that I can do only when Raya comes. Every times I meet others, I feel the same feeling exactly as others feel when it is Raya.

So, please not to pity me for my decision, it make me sick. I will meet you any other days, my the same feeling of happiness, just exactly like you feel happy when it's Raya.

And more, if you open your eyes and make your mind wider, the morning when Raya comes, everybody is so busy, and unwilling to pay attention on you, keep dodging for many thing to prepare or to ready, and have less times for you, because he have to spare some to the guess which is coming. [Except, he only had you for his guess, that times, he may pay all of his to you]

Anyway, please enjoy yourself this Raya, and forgive me for everything. May God bless you all

The Meaning

What's the meaning of gather people's love,
Do the right thing,
then you be loved,
Do the horrible,
the you be hated.

No matter you try,
keep gather people's love,
you might catch once,
then lose again.

The meaning of gather it,
because you keep giving it.

Gomenosai

I don't have enough sleep yesterday so I can't stay awake. I slept so long for more than hours I used to sleep before, and let hours useless for nothing. Then, when I wake up, it's already quiet because it's midnight already.

Although I plan many things for today, but since I slept to much, it is nothing than do nothing. Sincerely, I had a lot to do, and it should begin without any delay.

But, I do think to take a bath for rethink because it's too late for now. It's feel some uncomfortable, so I don't know which decision I should choose. Any way, I felt sorry even for myself for wasting so much times and do nothing. Gome

Accomplish Duties

Yesterday, I don't have many things to do, not more than take my time watching movie and poorly, only take few minutes reading books. Maybe, those movie I had were merely problem to me since I had to clear it (it mean, deleting it) from my computer. I always lost my attention to what i'm suppose to do, I mean, reading books and writing pricious things.

Yet, I think that all that would be clearly soon, so I must manage my work to be done soon. I wonder if it would took much more time, but it always make me tired, and on the other hand, happy to.

Have a nice day then.

Pretty Good, Huh?

Forgive me for not being able to update this blog for a very long time.

In the very beginning, I had no body to guide me writing in English, until the day I ask my friend, Saufiah, to overlook my writing skills. Then, I found another friend for the same duty, such as Suhaibah, Marina and others.

About last thirteen days or more, I downloaded ‘one piece’, a very popular cartoon adventure which contains more than 400 series, (but I only get 275 sequences) and pay some attentions so I can at least have some new words. The word (that might be use for public speaking, such as moron, brat) could be found here, in these series.

More than having fun, I also had chances to remember some new words I used to see more than once. Pretty good, huh?

Linux, The Other O.S

Linux, one of the top operating system after windows. That why I need to learn how to master it. It is not because I no more using Windows but since it cost free for it's 'open source', what about give it a try?

I just learn myself how to add rss feed to Linux setting called Akregator 8, so I begin to add some of my favourite website into it, so then I can read it without opening the page. Since it better much and more than keep typing the website address once after another, and even more than have to wait for nothing because the server is slow (sometime).

It is not good to praise Linux too much this time. I should say that - in some cases, window still have more credit than Linux. Maybe Linux supporter is much less than window.

Then by now.

My New...

This day, should be one of my happiest day in these three years. Because, I just bought a new watch. The better one from the last before. Which cost two hundeds and twenty five pounds Egypt. Casio. Made in Japan, I think. But cased in China. Sold at Egypt.

My first year study here, I wore a watch. It was a gift from my two friend. But it stayed my side for a year and no more. For the second's year studies, I borrowed my friend watch during the examination. And for the third year, I have a handphone which serve me at the same place.

Why don't buy a new one early?

There are many reasons. I don't know where I can get the cheapest one with the best performance. Always, the better cost more. And the cheaper is more risky to damage. I just cannot decide.

Ah. Forget it. Just happy and good luck

English Paper Test

Tomorrow will be my English Paper Test. For the third year examination. It's about less than twelve hours from this entry writing. Eventhough, I'm still not well-prepared for it, and the hardest part should be the swith language part; translating plural sentences from English to Arabic, and of course, from Arabic to English too.

Then by now. I have to catch this 'less than 12 hours time' preparing this subject. So and go on. Bye.

Leadership - The Three Types Of Leader

It had been a long time since I wrote before.

Leadership - The three types of leader.

There are three of them. One who is focused to produce targets whatever it costs. The other who has doing nothing but having nice behaviour and being respected, and the last one who has power to rule and to be obeyed, eventhongh he do nothing with it.

The first one is a machine. Due to produce and there is no hand of feelings in its work. The second one is a role model, and the third is a war commander.

The best leader I thought it could be - the one who gather all these three to mix in himself - productive leader, followed by it generous and behaviour, and also has power to rule.

Until next time.

My True Friend

Poem : My True Friend
By : Zaki Marzuki

I'm your friend,
the best one,
the only one,
when there is no friend,
for the ugly you.

Better we sit together,
Counting the star,
Until dawn,
And forget about being friend,
With the rubbish me.

Give me the pearl,
You stole yesterday,
From the garden of,
My true heart.

But,
I always wish that,
The shining of that,
Pearl of friendship,
Will curse you become,
The real friend of mine.

AL's Footnotes:
1. Zaki Marzuki is my pen-name.

What Is The True Meaning Of Madness.

What Is The True Meaning Of Madness.

Let me explaining to you the true meaning of madness. It is – a relax body with a busy thinking (or feeling).

Then, the main idea of this stupid meaning is – relaxing body, which is opposed the busy thinking or feeling. And what? Boom! Explode!

A madman who we called (orang gila) in Malay who have a busy thinking or feeling. But, this word can also describe a sanely man who have stress much (and are waiting to explode) by the busy thinking he suffer.

AL’s Footnotes:
1. There were lot and more out there.
2. It is you, isn’t it?

Baby Boy Or Girl

My friend, Nizam, (but we always call him – Badang) have a baby today. He and his wife at Kaherah now and I don’t know either a boy baby or a girl one. But (tahniah dalam bahasa Inggeris apa?) I want to congratulate to them both for this very happy news. Maybe I will seek them both (they were three, ha!) and their baby too sooner or later.

May Allah bless all of you.

AL’s Footnotes:
1. one sentence is better than nothing. I need to face my teacher Wannabe and have some advises, maybe. Can I? Ho ho.
2. Isk.

I Love This Night Very Much

It has been a long time since the last time I ate egg (macam mana nak tulis telur goreng? Takkan egg fried kot?) More than a month I think.

I love this night very much for this special meal. Thanks God.

AL's Footnotes:
No word to describe any.

These Days

These days, I feel very sad. So many things happened, and I do not know whom should I tell to. But as always, there will always many ways to remove (betul ke remove?) all these sadness. There were ten.

1. Sleep all day long.
2. Eat as much as I can.
3. Chat with those I like to.
4. Go (makan angin), walking along Mandarah’s beach.
5. Serve internet.
6. Change my life’s style
7. Pay attention doing something else.
8. Watching movies.
9. Never apart with others.
10. Read al-Quran.

This far, I don’t know if I really had done anything I thought it could release me from these sadness.

AL’s Footnotes:
1. Isk3 x 15

The Dangerous of Being Alone.

The Dangerous of Being Alone.

Never let your child being alone at home. Or either yourself. It’s so dangerous. Why? Then I will tell you a story. This happened a few days before.

That day, Engkau was staying home alone. Engkau’s stomach was growling. So, Engkau go to stove to boil water. Then, something happened. Engkau heard something weird. From Engkau’s room. Engkau ran to Engkau’s room. There was nobody, except, Engkau’s computer.

Start reading, Engkau begins to concentrate. Then, Engkau felt tired, and wanted to play games. But still, Engkau heard that weird voice. But Engkau didn’t know where it came from. Gave up to find the source, Engkau starts playing games. After playing for hour or two, Engkau catch the book and read again. Then, Engkau felt asleep. So, Engkau slept after that.

Then, what the problem is?

The problem is the boiling water. It dried up. Not left any, not even a single drop. Oh, it’s too late to turn off the fire. That is the dangerous of being alone. Never let your kids alone at home. And please,(I warn you) don’t play with fire.

AL’s Footnotes:
1. Still not married, how can I have kids?
2. Go and marry somebody. Then there are two of you.
3. Eh! It’s a story about someone else. Not me, ha!

My New Watch

I bought a new watch yesterday. For so long time I don’t have any single watch, it is too tired to keep asking every body – what is the time now? But, (it is) I feel great to copy Arab’s style asking others this (and only) question when meet foreigners.

But, the true reason buying watch is – I want to stop having handset. It was just a plan. It’s wasting money so much, I think. And the true reason I have a handset this far is because – I don’t know the time. (Every handset has time setting.)

Walking home (at Ramsis), I bought a new watch. Choosing the blue one (I love blue so much); I paid it for twenty junaih. Then hurry catching ‘trengko’ to Aabud and going back to my home.

Ha, ha. It is so bad when I open my eyes (and wonder – what is the time now) the next morning; my watch isn’t function any more. The hour needle isn’t move. Oh! How bad. Then what? What the solution after all of this? Keep patient? Buy new one? Repair it?

Can you even wonder – repair means money, buy means money. Patient means what? Oh, I can’t make any decision now – either continuing my plan or forget it. What is the worse?

Em, I don’t have the answer now. Maybe next time isn’t it?.

AL’s Footnotes:
1. Better not wasting your time anymore.
2. Cut the time before it cutting you.

My Beloved Keyboard

I hate my keyboard a bit. It always make noise each time I type something. Guess how annoying it is to disturbing other’s sleep when you are ‘working’ at night. Everybody always knows that I’m writing something that time.

To solve this problem, I need at least 40 junaih buying new keyboard. But, I will make thinking several times. Is this keyboard is useless and no more useful? Appreciate what you have, and always thank God. The most important is keep on writing, not chasing everything new – isn’t it?

So, I keep remembering how much this keyboard serving me this far. Furthermore, all of my friend never regret to be side and knowing that I’m writing (although I feel ashamed to be watched) Hihi, keep on what are you doing.

AL’s footnotes
1 – always thank God.
2 – have a nice day.

Those Tapes

One day, I just miss hearing Arabic tapes, but I don't have any, not even one single tape. Walking from my home (home sweet home), to Luqman's home, I asked him to lend me some. That tape titled (Nihayatul Alam, Mata Wa Kaifa). O…it's made me very happy that day, nice to hear and walking around. And the next day, I borrowed another more.

It was very lucky to have so very nice friend, and do you know? The next day, I borrowed the third one. Luqman kept my eyes in touch.

"When you will give it back to me? I think better you leave the tape's cover so I can detect if you not give it back"

With a smiling face, looking unsuspicious, I told him nicely.

"Don't worry. Do you trust me? We are friend, aren't we?"

Felt ashamed, I stopped borrowing but believe, there were five beside me. I went to Mansurah next month, looking for more Arabic's tape (because Luqman told me, at there, those tapes are cheaper than at any other places. One for only one pound and fifty piaster. Buying eight, smiling a day light time, returning to my home, and be proud to everybody I met, (but still, felt ashamed to Luqman for the same reason – still not giving back his tape) I wanted to finished Luqman's tapes first.

For dubbing, I need an empty tape. At least, I want to dub that (Nihayatul Alam). I cancelled my plan. I wanted to record it to my computer, but I don't know how! Until yesterday, I lent my friend's camera with recording function, and started the delayed projects. Ha ha. It finished.

Tomorrow, with a full smile, I will give back Luqman's tapes. Thanks for your tolerate, what I proud (and more) to have so nice friends. Thank you again.

AL's footnotes:
1) Have a nice day.
2) Better pray, I do remember your home!
3) Remind me if you have other tape. I would like to…
4) Borrowing for free, isn't it?
5) Thanks a lot!

Write Simple Sentences

Write simple sentences. That is all what my teacher tells me and my friend. Don't ask why because I don't have any answer for that except – it's better not make any mistake. But truly, I love complex sentences. I think it's the only way to show that I'm the best writer. Oh! It so silly thinking like that. Furthermore, I still the same word, repeatedly, same sentences every time, and…I didn't plus any single words a day.

Write simple sentences. That all my teacher said.

How many times I had wrote before? Even the homework I can't finish it completely. What a lazy boy! Exactly, I hated English because I cannot remember each single word I learn everyday, and failed to add new vocabulary. How bored! I hated it.

My friend - Hazrat (oh, he is very good in English) always be my target to ask anything. First of all – compare English and Arabic. What is the different between English and Arabic? He said – English don't have so many words like Arabic, and the easiest way to learn it is read a lot. I said that time – Learning any language needing you to read a lot.

Second, Arabic is too complex, have so many rules. I laughed and told him – Learning Arabic just like learning Mathematic. There was formula, technique, and all that is so simple if you can understand it perfectly. But English…O…I need to remember so many words, and it is too weird I can't understand what I read! So, what the problem?

I think, the last time I wrote before was when I finished my English's paper examination. Since that, I not even write even a simple sentence like my teacher told me to do so. Since that, I too busy with Arabic because I love it very much.

Until these days, I ask myself, why don't I try my best learning English? I have some basic, and all what I have to do is – practicing. Practice make perfect. Practice to make simple sentences.

Al's, Zaki Marzuki.
manhumi_ilm